Ames, IA- With twelve minutes to go in the annual "El Assico" game between Iowa and Iowa State, a game pundits and fans a like viewed to be one that would come down to the final possession, was already over. The once raucous 60,000 person crowd numbered close to only 10,000 now, the Gameday crew had packed up and gone, and the golden GOAT QB, of a program who's offseason hype had their fans believing they had finally made it over the hump, was benched... And it couldn't have been sweeter!
The #10 ranked Iowa Hawkeyes marched into Jack Trice Stadium on Saturday for a prime time kickoff against #9 Iowa State with a five game winning streak in the CyHawk series on the line. Iowa State and all of their fans believed "this was the year" that they beat their rival and take control of the state of Iowa and all of its glorious corn. To quote the increasingly senile Lee Corso; "Not so fast my friend!" The Hawkeyes put a whooping on the Cyclones in the most Iowa way possible. To fully understand the absolute CLOWNING the Cyclones were subject to on Saturday, lets start from the beginning.
Mid Week Lead Up:
When Gameday announced the CyHawk game to be their site this week there were many mixed signals coming out of Ames from the Cyclone faithful. The largest elephant in the room being that ESPN is already treading on thin ice with Iowa. St given the Cyclones affiliation to the Big 12 and all of the undermining ESPN has had to do with the poaching of Texas and Oklahoma from the conference. Others felt as though the greater national attention to the game would cause more unneeded pressure on a program trying to break off their current five year snide in the series. And of course there were those that relished in the opportunity to just enjoy the game and drink gods gift to us all with their fellow man. Cyclone fans overall though were excited and looking forward to the extra festivities and national recognition... until this happened
Understandably, the response from Cyclone fans was not positive towards Ashton Kutcher as he is a HUGE Hawkeye fan.
Saturday Morning:
The scene at College Gameday was awesome! Thousands of Cyclone and Hawkeye fans swarmed the set and set the tone early for a super charged rivalry game. The pre game show made mention many times about the size of the crowd and the intensity which seemed to underly the otherwise festive crowd. All seemed well and happy until Kutcher, again drew the ire Cyclone fans by arriving in what could only be described as the greatest, most Iowa "Big Dick Energy" move in the history of Gameday.
Iowa State fans were not to be deterred however and tried to take back control of the day by attacking Kutcher's hygiene.
Iowa State fans chanting "Take a Shower."
Even Kutcher would admit thats pretty freaking funny. However, he is married to Mila Kunis so maybe we all should skip the shower. It didn't hold him back when it came to picking who he thought would come out on top in the CyHawk matchup though...
The Bomb = Iowa Center Tyler Linderbaum.
So an enemy fan has just picked your rival team to beat you on a pre game show at your own house... Ouch. Surely though Lee Corso would pick the Cyclones in order to balance the bias on the set and make the fans happy right? Well....
................................
So after being "Punk'd" on national TV, Iowa State was then bowled over by an Iowa defense that now has to be considered elite. The Hawkeyes Ball"Hawk"ing (ALL the pun intended!) defense turned the Cyclones over four times and allowed a little over 300 yards with many of those coming in garbage time as the Hawkeyes had reserves seeing action. Those four turnovers increased the turnover differential in this series the last six years to 10-0 in favor of Iowa. Many more weird stats came from this game and those will be released in the power rankings tomorrow but for now, the only stat that really mattered was the final score of 27-17 and the final words from Iowa safety Jack Koerner.
It's a Hawkeye state once more and the corn remains in Cap'n Kirks barn for another season.
The rest of the action from Saturday was as full bodied as a Miller 64. Ohio. St was curb stomped by Oregon, Michigan ran down the throat and out the ass of a mediocre Washington team and Notre Dame... well they looked like a team that has Jack Coan as its quarterback. The coming game week adds a few more calories to our beverage. And you know what that's crucial. When I want a crisp refreshing light beer I dont want to feel as though Im slurping on the piss of the Mississippi River. That type of luxury is reserved only for the PJ Flecks of the world and all the other Minnesotans. Give me a crisp refreshing drink that tastes good at noon, 3:30, and 8pm. Thats what we have on Saturday in the Big Ten so grab some Busch Light, pop a squat and veg out on college football this weekend. Now, onto league business.
The league had an incredibly strong week this week as a whole and things stayed quiet for the most part in the jostling for the Golden Can. Here are your standings after Week 2.
As we head into Week 3 action we see a new leader atop the table. Matt has pulled a rabbit out of God knows where to take first place for now on the back of 7-3 week that saw him gobble up a solid 37 points. All in all, ten league members had winning records this week. Those people were Blake (6-4), Teddy (6-4), LT (6-4), Tyler (6-4), Buddy (7-3), Ian (6-4), Derek (6-4), Evan (7-3), Matt (7-3) and your best performer of the week Micheal who racked up a sterling record of 8-2 good for 41 points. That performance propelled Mike up four spots from 10th to 6th. Im sure he's hoping his alma matter will follow his example this weekend vs Purdue but again... Jack Coan's your quarterback dude.
Side note: LT had two games not count for his record this week after taking freaking forever to send in his picks and still out classed the four brothers Graberkamp who are still toiling away in the stink of the bottom part of the table.
While Tyler and Blake were able to somewhat begin to right the ship with 30 and 34 points respectively, Poods and I continue to suck eggs as we both have yet to crack the 30 mark. The both of us have basically fallen an entire weeks worth of points behind the top and the precariousness of our situation can be described as such...
This Cat had finally had it with Miami football
The landing surely wont be as soft for either of us as none of you are to be trusted. I don't blame you though as the fight for the Golden Can is a vicious, 15 round prize fight. Only one will be worthy in the end, and I plan on being there.
And with that, I'll leave it to Steve to put a capper on Week 2...
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